Bonding with Lola Dela

 (I wrote this article years ago. This is about my Lola or grandmother. I am posting this again in memory of her first death anniversary. Lola was a Marian devotee. She died in her sleep at 90 years old. We have a lot of good and loving memories of her. Though we miss her so much, we are happy where she is now.)

 It was a great relief upon knowing I have to give up a teaching stint aside from my present job. It would mean I could go on with my postponed vacation leave from office. I made a lot of plans, like visiting a beauty parlor and have my hair have its yearly make-over. Spend time playing badminton with my nephews and nieces, sending them to school, read with them, a bonding with my Lolo, and Lola, listening to my mother’s heart and many other things. Unlike my previous vacations, I planned to spend this week mostly at home.

Eventually I learned God had greater plans for my vacations. Oh my, I almost ruined it. It was my first Saturday night at home when my Lola had a fever. The next day she showed me a wound on her feet. She couldn’t remember how she got it. Monday morning we brought her to a doctor and were advised that she needs to be admitted because of infection.  

Obviously, only my mother was available to take care of her in the hospital. Inevitably, I was expected to take turns with her since I have no office.  The thought of staying in the hospital ward was not a very good thing to look forwarded to. Why can’t we just have gone to a private hospital? I would be willing to take care of Lola as long as the room is clean and properly kept and smells nice.  But of course, we couldn’t. We still have remaining obligations there from my Lolo’s hospitalization months ago.

On the second day of my Lola in the hospital, I started to complain to my mother. I began to show some irritation of having to spend my vacation in there.  She just listened to me because she also has no other choice. It was decided that Mama will sleep in the hospital and the next morning, I will relieve her so she can take her bath at home and buy medicine.

 One night before going home, I went to the PEA (Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration chapel). I sat very near the Host to make sure God can clearly hear me. I talked my heart out. I was really upset and angry and furious that things like this should happen on my scheduled vacation and most of all I can not do anything about it. It’s just not fair that I know I am doing the right thing and my feeling contradicts.

 I asked God, “Please take this bad feeling out of me, please Lord.” I kept repeating this phrase when suddenly I was interrupted by a soft and stern voice. “It is not for me to take, it is for you to decide.”  The words seemed like a slap on my face.  As I was silently sitting there, a lot of realizations started to come to mind. 

What have I prayed? I felt stupid.  I was blinded by my personal concerns and forgot about Gods concerns.  Wasn’t it my self knowledge that everything happens for a purpose? God has been doing great things thru me and I was focused on my delayed visit to the parlor and many other things to do at home.

 Then I remembered the dying woman.  After Lola was laid on her assigned bed, I noticed this old woman next to her. She was breathing so loud even with an oxygen on her nose. I was drowsy. While seated, I placed my head down on the bed and slept with her sound as my lullaby. Suddenly I woke up and noticed the silence. Then I heard someone said she’s dead. Her family were silently crying, everyone was just observing and nobody seems to be praying. I found myself repeating “Eternal Rest Grant Unto Her…” After almost tired of my litany, I stood and blessed her with a sign of the cross on her forehead. Didn’t I felt great having prayed for someone on their death bed?

                Yes indeed, it is for me to decide. Will I continue to stay feeling like that or do something about it?  I can not control everything around me.  The only thing that I can control is myself and my emotions. I can not tell Lola to be well and go home. But surely, I can tell myself to be patient. Accept things as they are and change my perspective so that I can heartily do the right thing at the moment. It is for me to decide if I would entertain my negative feelings and eventually ruin my vacation.  

                The next day, when I came to relieve my mother in the hospital, I was happy to learn that she’s sending me out so I could fix my hair and do the things I wanted to do including a night visit to my cousins. The following days I stayed in the hospital but with a different set of mind. To conquer my fears and go beyond my limitations. I was able to endure the different kinds of odor in the hospital ward and be at home to it. Not a few times did I blame my asthma. Maybe if I don’t have it, I would not be too conscious and bear the smell of the room and it would be like perfumes to me.  I pictured the two lepers Mother Theresa picked up and washed and took care. I wished I had a heart and attitude like her so that I could bear accompanying Lola to the comfort room which seemed like a torture to me. I began to feel deep empathy for the people who work as caregivers to elderly. I was also able share tips on how to prevent asthma attack to an asthma patient beside Lola. I shared the importance of having healthy eating habit. I also felt most proud to hear not a few people saying Lola was still very beautiful at 86, and felt a little bit sad not looking like her.

                 I felt great to have bonded with Lola during those moments. I almost forgot it was one of my plans. I enjoyed feeding her with chico, her favorite fruit. Who knows, I might not be able to do this to Lola again. I felt many grandchildren will be envious with me. It makes me feel so great to see how she like and enjoys it when I do loving things for her. It was the sixth times that we went to the CR that afternoon and I didn’t help telling her not to stay long inside because I might have an asthma attack because of the smell. I was touched when she motioned me to go out. I just laughed and felt happy. I knew I just couldn’t leave her there. Oh, how Lola really love me! Mind you, she also worries that I wouldn’t have someone of my own to grow old with that she prays for it daily. She’d tell me that not just a few times. I hope and pray Lola will see her prayers granted for me before she leaves us.

                 God’s plans are always better than mine. In a nutshell, I was able to do the things I planned and a lot more. Since it was weekend, my aunt came to relieve us and I spent the last days of my vacation bonding with my mother, siblings, nephews and nieces at home.

Virtues are earned and not given instantly, hence, since God wants to bless me with it, He gives me a lot of opportunities for me to gain more virtues. It is just but a pity that sometimes I do not recognize it.

What a grand vacation, indeed!

(Bea-072707)

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Prayer: "Eternal rest grant unto Adela, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. may she rest it peace. Amen."