This is not frequent, a once in a blue moon moment with my grandfather that I treasure in my heart.
I woke up
one very early morning. I have to catch up for the second trip to the next town where I work. It was Monday and I must not be late. After drinking a glass of warm water, I washed my face
and hurriedly wrapped my tattered hair with a big handkerchief and took my back
pack. On my way to the door, I would pass by Lolo’s room. As usual, it would
always be him that I would get to say goodbye every time I would leave this early
for work. I would find him playing solitaire. Every time I say my "good bye" to
him, sometimes I would find him surprised like he forgot I existed. Sometimes
almost shocked that I disturbed him from his meditation with his cards, he
would just look at me and nod his head and proceed with his solitaire. Sometimes
he would blankly stare at me while I walk away. No expression. I would
even suspect if he knows who I am. I wonder
if he thinks I’m a thief? A respectful thief, asking permission to go after
stealing something. Huh!?
But this morning was different.
This time I was sure he recognized me. He was smiling at me when I told him I
was leaving. He wasn’t surprised or
shocked. He was almost laughing. He was looking at me. I thought maybe I had a “morning glory” (muta or dried tears). Maybe he found my unfashionable look so funny that morning even
though this has been my attire whenever I travel. Well, I have only red and green
bandana. But no! It wasn’t like the
smile he makes when I gave him a cake that he loves when I go home on weekends. There
was something in those smiles that stroke like a lightning and was suddenly imprinted permanently in my heart. Ah.... It’s been so long
since I saw those smiles. I wonder how he really felt that early morning. There
wasn’t just happiness in those smiles but joy. This time it was me that was
surprised. After telling him I was leaving, he smiled again and said yes and continued
with his solitaire.
The
incident came back to my mind during the mass the next day when at homily, the
priest mentioned about making other people happy. I noticed tears falling down my cheek as I
recalled what happened. I wondered what have I done to him that made him smile
and laugh at me like that. It’s like a thanksgiving to me. I felt the happiness
in those eyes, in those smiles. It showed how contented and happy Lolo is with
his life that moment. He was blessed not with material things but with love.
Imperfect love from people he has loved imperfectly. God knows how he’s been bad
but God never deprived him of being blessed like this especially during this
time when he is helpless.
I
prayed that I would be blessed, even more, like Lolo when I would be old
and might also be sick. I wish I would also have someone like Bea beside me.
*********************************
I wrote this about 5 years ago. My mother took care of him and my Lola when they started to become sickly until they died. Today is his second death anniversary.
I love you and I miss you Lolo!
I love you and I miss you Lolo!
Prayer:
Eternal rest grant unto Paterno, Sr. and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace.
